Les Mills Workout.
I did not inform anyone that i was on hiatus from my blog, i didn’t think i would be. I somehow lost the mood or blogging rush, i tend to get lazy after even writing a few lines. But i have so much inside my head and mind going on, good and bad, interesting and amusing.
Besides, i’ve been busy with looking for part time during the past few weeks. babysitting and other adhoc side jobs. Until a week ago, i finally got a notice on my commencement of new job which i awaited since September. I was bumming around for a period of time, but slowly go out of it by heading to the gym for classes,
and my recent favourite,
A gym member since late January, with the intention of going for classes, i never made it to any of them because of work and also partly because the shy part of me emerged. The classes weren’t for beginners but those learn as you go along. So i took this first step in late October, i always wanted to try step classes, and so i did. Picking up was one thing, i enjoyed the class for the music and the instructors despite a few wrong steps here and there, it wasn’t so bad afterall! What’s more, i found out that every BodyStep class in the month of October was dedicated to the awareness for Breast Cancer, i was proud to be stepping for it.
Once i started this routine, i began relying on classes instead of doing usual cardio routines on my own. Nonetheless, it was said that each class burns about 400 calories, and a substitute for someone who doesn’t like running on treadmills for an hour. Sweating it out is not an option, adrenaline rush and everytime i get out of the class, i looked like i just got out of shower! The next class on the waiting list, could prolly be beginners’ yoga, a class for me while recuperating muscle aches and strains. Ohm…..
I went for a Typhoid jab this morning, wasn’t as bad as i had imagined but i’m feeling the numbness on my arm. I hate and am afraid of jabs on me, i don’t know if i can even classified that under a phobia. A seriously sidenote, i’m pretty hungry right now, and i crave for Japanese food especially. I even had the temptation to pick up the phone and dial for any yummy food delivery.
Anyhow, today is the 24th, marks our 7th month, isn’t a big deal but i just like to be aware of the time passing by, still holding hands.
I love my boyfriend ♥
P.S. I’ll update as and when i think i have the blogging vibes in me, it’s not dead. (:
A reminder.
Just last week, on the 9th October, marked my parents’ 22nd anniversary. How i gotta know about it was through my sister’s text message and boy were we astonished that it was dad who actually reminded mom, the first time since 20 years.
22 years, sounds like a long long period of time, brought along with tears and joy of their ups and downs throughout their marriage. This word, marriage, brings fear to many people, mostly men. To them, in layman terms, lifelong commitment and possibly, a foot stepping into their grave. To us women, or at least to me, it’s just an upgrade of my relationship level with my man. I see that being in a relationship is already a commitment, of myself and my actions, to him. It speaks no great difference from marriage. What distinguishes it from a dating relationship are children and perhaps, a joint account? Oh, i might also see it as a lifetime contract, with no regrets.
And yes, i do view it as a permanent mark in my life, which there’s no turning back, where “divorce” doesn’t appear in my dictionary. I must also admit, that i’ve thought about marriage with someone, not once, but twice. You know, having those thoughts about your future with the other half, house, babies, finances and so on. Unfortunately, back to facing reality, all these are just day dreamings of maybe, your own wishful thinking. Honestly, how many times have you thought about your future and it actually worked out the way you wanted it to?
Here comes the part, someone will tell me, ” You gotta work for it, put it in action and not just words.” Because i had a taste of my own blood when i fell, i never dare dream about what’s to become of many years down the road. I wake up and i face today, that’s what i’m given and i live it to the fullest even though i have gloomy days with frown and frustrations. By not pinning my hopes too high, the chances of me getting too disappointed will definitely be much lesser.
I’m thankful of course, that i’m not married yet, not to those who let me down. It’s not about the period of time you get along, but about whether the time is ripe and when both are ready, for what they are about to face with hands held together through thick and thin. Marriage, again, is a sensitive topic amongst most men and in some cases, women. They get cold feet, backing out last minute and all sorts of scary thoughts starts overwhelming them, with that lil devil at the side playing mind tricks.
What i would say to be a good time to consider it, would be after at least a year or two of cohabiting, knowing your partner’s habits, temper and living lifestyle, inside out. It’s something like a test of boiling point and climax, if you pass it, go ahead. This is especially good for revealing the ugly true colours that you don’t get to see in just that few hours of everyday dating. Why i emphasize on this is because, times are definitely different now. We don’t have a choice in the past and married couples see a total different side of themselves after moving in together, after marriage. That’s when some of them start questioning themselves, “Is he/she really the one?”
Of course, the above mentioned, are just my point of views, you’re welcome to think otherwise and disagree with me. But i’m sure, in some point, i’m right.
My parents, from what i see, no longer share the love they used to share during their dating days or perhaps the honeymoon period of their marriage. What keeps them together is most probably us, their children. During these years, i’ve witnessed my parents falling out and a few times, jeopardizing their marriage.
Right now, i still have my parents together, for these 22 years they braved through the obstacles together, husband and wife, they remain still. My mom, tolerated my dad’s moment of follies, my dad, stood by my mom throughout her most down period of 2006. I believe, there’s still a lot for them to learn on how to spice up this rusty love. They are making some slight effort though, a little goes a long way.
I wished them happiness and love, till the hair turns white and smiling with fake dentures.
(F)art alert!
I had ovaries clearance a few days ago, and for the past 2 days, it’s been giving me this cramping and full feeling, almost too heavy to even move myself. You know, that kinda force above the pelvic, below the belly.
Met Rina for Sapporo ramen and crafty shopping. I came upon these boxes of crickets. Initially, i thought they were just for show and play, but it turned out that they were edible food. They come in 3 lip smacking flavours, Sour Cream & Onion, Salt ‘N’ Vinegar and for the real gourmet, Bacon & Cheese!
Also, i’ve read that, for those who are on a diet, you’ll be happy to learn that these crunchy snacks are only 9 calories per serving! Furthermore, they guaranteed that once you eat a cricket or two, you won’t want to eat anything else, i second to that (if you know what i mean).
Not forgetting, worms! I believe these are the worms we played with during our science experiments in Primary school days. And these comes in 3 mouth watering flavours, BBQ, Cheddar Cheese and Mexican Spice.
Did i hear someone said mealworms taste like chicken?!
I have been wanting to try these so called crunchy insects delicacies, seen them in Thailand, but never got the guts to go ahead and grab them. In contrast, and not a surprise, i detest creepy crawlies for goodness sake. Not to the extend of not being able to stand the sight of them, but i just don’t like the presence, sending my bones to chill.
What would be a good use for these would be holding a Survivor or Fear Factor party and i’m pretty sure there’s much more to just those, with different insects and different ways of collaborating them with finger food.
Enough of worms and crickets, last night, i had no idea what was it that i ate for the day, i farted like nobody’s business. Just before Darl went for work..
Me: Oh, did i fart a lot last night?
Darl: YEAH! While i was playing game, you had one, then another one afterwards, i was like, okay..
Darl: Then while we were sleeping you started again, it’s like you were having a war going on!
Me: WHAT?! Really, i thought i was just dreaming, i didn’t know it happened!
This is utterly embarassing for me, because, i don’t fart in front of him unless it’s those unintended kind where you laugh so hard and a “pfffrrttt” comes out. The last time i did, he got woken up by the pungent gas of mine. But for last night, i seriously had no idea i was so full of farts, at least they were those unscented ones, or so i thought.
Boy oh boy, he’s the first man i’ve dated who heard and smelt my farts, from yours truly.
She keeps looking with wondering eyes.
I figured out that doing daily postings on happenings that are whether or not important, are seriously time consuming. I mean, most of the times, i combined them into one post, often in a week basis. And because of that, i often have to do backtracking.
Maybe that’s why, my blog readers are slowly decreasing their frequency, even though for the fact that i only have that one or 2 loyal cum so call noseyparking readers! I’m not sure if it’s a good thing to publicize this, i have nothing to hide though and i certainly do not mind knowing that i do have unknown readers who just happened to come across my blog and decided to stop and read.
I wanna achieve that my-blog-has-something-that-captivates-your-attention kinda thing.
Anyhow, lately, i’ve been having a lot in mind to pen them down. However i failed to do so because of laziness. Have been a couch potato since i’ve resigned, and it’s nothing but games, television, sleep, eat and gym.
Often, i remind myself not to tie myself down to one person. And for that, i never fail to have moments of struggling to keep it going with that push and pull factor. Scenarios like these..
a) Never neglect your friends even though you have a committed relationship.
b) Never neglect your partner for your friends.
c) Never neglect your family.
d) Never neglect your interests for any reasons.
Once upon a time, i committed the first crime, i totally made myself not available to my friends, especially my close ones whom i always turn to when i’m single. To make it sound ugly, i only needed them when my partner left. It was also because of that one incident, a whole of 3 and a half years, i totally neglected them, for just one unworthy person. You only realize their unworthiness when it all falls down, many times, it is when it’s too late, but it serves as one good learning experience.
Which explains why afterwards, i made an exclaimer to those who reads my blog, regretting my foolish action. It wasn’t that hard for me to revive back the friendships, but it takes time to build it up again. The importance of friendships, especially of those mean something to you, they stand by you whether you are single or attached, whether you’re fat or skinny, ugly or pretty.
Coming to the point (b), i have by far, not commited this. It now pose as a question to me, whether or not i should incorporate a lil bit of this in my life. This is one of the push and pull factor. Leaving too much time off my partner might not be a too good idea, but again, where is the time for him to miss me? And what if he doesn’t, with that time off away? It means, too bad for me then.
Now, point (c), i certainly am guilty of this. Since some time back, we have an idea of somewhat close to cohabiting. Which makes it about once or twice a week for me returning home. Initially, it was because of work and convenience. With 80% of our time tied with work, we have no time for leisure nor dating, leaving us with only after work hours to really talk about our day. 10 hours or so at work, 2 hours or so to communicate and have dinner, and then to bed.
Recently, i have been missing home cooked food from my mom. Knowing that my parents do love me, likewise, i love them too, i showed them my love through small actions. One way was also being there for my siblings. Ever since that day, everyday i have moments of silence on my own, to think about my actions. They don’t agree with it instantly, but slowly adapt to it. I put it to them, that although my presence is not present, i am afterall not someone who just live them off for the past 21 years. So once in awhile, i take them out to eat, spend some late night talking and gossipping, and in future, help contribute to the family’s expenditures.
It is also time, i should take care a part of my siblings’ pocket money when i do get some decent income that allows slight allowances for them. This is what the big 21 shouts for me, increased responsibilities in terms of maturity level, monetary wise and independence.
Point (d), another one i’m convicted for. I totally have so many interests and passions i can never pursue anymore because it’s time and money consuming. Say for example, my dance classes. Without a doubt, men mostly put their interests at heart first before anything else, including work.
Overall, after so many points discussed, i am somewhat driving to my main point, that is how to really manage your time with your partner. Time, is in our hands, up to us to control. Giving each other too much time off is not what i think, healthy.
Balance, is just like giving and taking. Let’s say, if today the guy decides to dedicate his time to games and decreasing the span of attention on their partner, should they make it up another day for the time lost? Personally, i never thought that games would be a huge issue, until it becomes more and more consistent, that they somehow don’t realize that we are neglected. Once or twice, not a problem, but problem is it isn’t just once or twice anymore. Similar to what you call, if we give an inch, you take a mile.
They say, if you can’t beat them, join them. And so, we the girls, who would prefer doing our girly things, take the initiative to join the guys’ league. Not only that, learning the games is not for the sake of pleasing them, but it’s more of a compromising move. An act of initiation to show that we actually do care about what’s going on, and we’re not just gonna leave it as it is, while you play games we just sit and sulk. More like creating opportunities for both parties to be involved in the same thing, same interests, doing things together with enjoyment.
End note, there’s only one word we can describe this if nothing else works, that is to be immuned. Soon enough, it’ll just become a part of it that we have to adapt to in order to keep it going. In this case, are we, the immuned ones, the giving in ones?
I have been rather flustered lately, with certain issues affecting my morale. Being direct, sometimes hurts one’s ego, moreover, brings down the level of confidence. The first few times are definitely triggering enough to make you do something about it, but the continuous direct shootings definitely brings the person down to a certain level in a way or another. As per how i am, i would just keep mum, knowing that one day, this person will be proven wrong with my actions.
There’s always an alternative way to doing things, hard approach is not the only way.
Afterall, the bottomline is that it meant well for me, it meant well the cruel and harsher way, it’s reality isn’t it?
Each time i try to play the good girl, i let myself get in the way. I tried so hard to fight the bad girl, she’s here to say sabotage all over again and again.
Special September.
After being MIA from my blog for a period of time, i so do not recall way back into my detailed days, except for the few special days in September.
Even though i have officially stopped working in the second week of September, i can’t seem to have any time to just sit down and blog. I must be too overwhelmed with my jobless amount of time i have in hand.
It’s always like that, you get so excited when you get a long long break, but after awhile, you start to get lazy to do the things you used to do even with so much of free and no commitment bounded time.
6th September (Sunday),
Early brunch with my family and godparents at the Seoul Garden, i was filled in the first round. Digested our heavy buffet meal with a walk in the newly commotion-ed ION, where all the high end brands were.
As i stepped into this not yet heard before shop, Bershka, I got misled by this small fine print on the tag that says, FROM $19.90. Somehow, i missed that “FROM”.
I got a shirt dress that was $39.90. Those who know me, i never invest in my clothes, unless it’s one that the trend never dies down. I was appalled by my rash action, not to mention, i feel pain in the wallet.
I don’t think i’m stingy, i’m just being thrifty with the right reasons and shopping smartly.
Back home, dinner with Darl’s family. For dessert, we had a mango cake to celebrate Darl’s 27th.
7th September (Monday),
Happy 27th Birthday to my guy!!
My first day of being jobless, i quit my job of close to a year. A job which didn’t require me to use much of my brains, no standing. Nonetheless, 90% of my time at work, i’m mostly sitting in front of the computer, surfing the net, chatting online, playing games and watching movies. What a job?!
I almost forgot to mention that while i was there, 50% of the time, i was also the usher to the toilet. I could’ve just put up the sign “Toilet this way ->”, when mall shoppers never failed to ask, “Where is the toilet?”
Now, i’m living the life of a bum, eat, sleep, gym, games, movies. Awesome, but not for long, so i’ll just utilize the fullest of it.
I actually had something up in my sleeves, planning since weeks ago. But it wasn’t put to work for some reason, it even got me a lil disappointed. Anyhow, i never spent a single cent on his birthday surprise.
While he was out for basketball, i suddenly had a light bulb above my head. Just as his mom dug out those old and yellow photos, i picked out the best childhood ones i could find.
And so, when Darl came back all sweaty, i presented the short slideshow which i rushed in 2 hours.
9th September (Wednesday),
Because the next day is my 21st, i just wanted to give myself a break from gym on the day itself.
Gym-ed.
On the way back home, we were thinking how to celebrate my 21st, trying to make it a memorable one. Then Darl brought up the idea that we could do a BBQ, not with the pits but with those aluminium trays.
After dropping off stuffs at home, we ran errands at close to midnight, preparation for the BBQ. Gathering all the items, time check was about midnight. Until we realized that, there’s no charcoal! Thankfully, we found another 24hours supermarket, a last bag of charcoal.
Yishun Dam, BBQ under the moon and fire started at 1am or so.
I had a simple yet happy 21st, although it’s nothing extravagant like how i wanted it to be, but life taught me to be contented with what i’m given. I’ll have a better one next year.
10th September (Thursday),
Happy birthday to myself!!
Turning 21, doesn’t feel like how it’s suppose to be, like how people would get so excitedwith this number that makes you an adult. I guess it’s because, i’ve already pretty much got the golden key way before, i fought for it!
Thanks to all who wished me!
Not with a wink of sleep, sent my parents off to HongKong in the early morning and back home to replenish our sleep.
11th September (Friday),
G-Force with Rina and Chris with complimentary of Citibank.
3 outta 5 popcorns for those guinea pigs cuteness.
12th September (Saturday),
A babysitting assignment i had at 8am, 5 hours with a 4 month old Japanese boy, Rihito.
Gym-ed and ran errands for the night’s BBQ with Rina and Chris.
Today,
For the past week, i have been hitting the gym almost non-stop. There was just this one day, some words hit me right in my head, that i need to stop my unhealthy lifestyle, or at least include some exercise in them.
But today, i feel kinda fat because i’ve been too relaxed with my eating habits in the weekends.
Plus, i haven’t been having any motivation to blog. However, i will still up keep this whenever i can, it won’t just be left dead.
Her Awesome Fishy 21st!
Wednesday,
Work.
Whipped up lunch for Darl and i, also, found a new place for picnic which is near to our workplace.
Thursday,
Work.
Friday,
After lunch with Darl, i took a 1 and a half hour trip from Bukit Timah to Pasir Ris. Long journey indeed, until Chris’ brother, Chris (don’t ask me why they have the same name) came picking me up.
Finally made it to Sentosa Cove’s One °15, with just 10-15minutes preparation of the setting of the huge cake. While everyone was getting ready to pounce, we witness the blinded birthday girl making her way to the yacht. There’s so much to say but i’ll just sum it up. It was a fantabulous fishy experience, for a girl who thinks she’s still 16 years old, for us, the crew who made it happen.
The backstage crews had to keep the mouths shut, planning and taking days off work. The efforts were paid off at least, the cake was in shape despite all the humps and bumps on the road.
The relighting candle worked.
Saturday,
Happy 21st Birthday babe! Although i wasn’t the first, but i followed accordingly to the time on my mobile.
I had my first coral fish just awhile after midnight. Previously, i was just recovering from the mild nauseousness and i felt a tug on my fishing rod. Hauled up a fish and excitedly took a photo as evidence, because Darl said i would be catching ikan bilis instead.
We, the first timers in fishing, the survivors who pulled through the night til dawn breaking, with a fishing rod in our hands.
Rina, Chris, JJ and me. Whilst the rest were knocked out.
And so, we manage to catch the sunset and sunrise, wonderful moments. I finally gave in at 8am or so, took a nap.
Arrival at 9am at the dock, made our way to Rasa Sentosa’s Hotel for a refreshing shower and nap. Delifrance and hotdogs, while missing the barbequed food on board. I was even thinking of grilling the stingray Rina caught.
Now, we’re hooked on fishing.
Here’s to the collaboration of Rina’s Fishy 21st!
The Final Destination movie with Darl at midnight. Awesome graphics in 3D, much more surreal than the previous 3, gruesome and blood spurting. Not for the faint hearted i guess, because there’ll be guts and intestines spillage.
3.5 outta 5 popcorns.
Sunday,
Gym-ed.
Pretty normal Sunday with Darl, some walk around the mall and back home for dinner with his family.
Monday,
Work.
At night, i got to feast on the fried chicken that Darl’s mom was supposed to make on Sunday.
Tuesday,
Work.
Knocked off at 5.30pm to rush back to Darl’s.
We were invited along by his manager to catch the gala premiere of Blood Ties, a local Oak 3 film that’s unreleased yet. Many familiar faces of those extras on tv, some never seen nor heard before faces that appeared in the movie.
It was my first time having to sit just 3 rows from the front, bad and straining position for the neck. It was suppose to be a scary show in some parts, but we ended up laughing at their exaggerating expressions and emotions. Now, local films uses a lot of dialects, and most of the time, we resort to subtitles. But it’s becoming a habit for me to run my eyes through the subtitles, be it that the movie is in English or Chinese. This movie conversed quite a fair bit in Cantonese though.
3 outta 5 popcorns.
Dinner after movie with them, gossiping about the work happenings and people, which lasted til 1.30am. My maggi goreng barely satisfied my hunger.
Wednesday,
This morning, while i was blow drying my hair after shower, it never dried up and the weight on my hair seemed different. It was like the water never evaporated. And it was then that i realized, i had forgotten to wash off my conditioner!
Ain’t the first time though.
Just now, i was feeling the adrenaline rushing inside me, so excited for something that’s up on my sleeves. I just cross my fingers and pray it’ll go smoothly as planned.
Right when i started work, reading this month’s astrology zone, it sounded kinda mood dampening. It was like bulls eye on most aspects, but of course, i only believe what’s good and not what doesn’t sound nice to me.
And it takes all that i got to fight it.
Friday,
Slept my way through the afternoon, and it was raining. Home alone with 2 cats, and my mind started wandering.
Hungry Ghosts Festival began like a few days ago.
I had the music really loud playing from the room, while cleaning up the place. From god knows where, a stench of salty fish filled the kitchen. Windows were closed and all, so i have no idea where was it from. And while i was using the computer, a strong gust of wind blew (coming from the rain i suppose), and some boxes from on top fell to the floor.
My mind wandered further.
Then i shut the door, continued my game. I heard keys, but afterwards, nothing. I don’t know if Darl was back because i would expect some noises. I kept looking back, next thing i know, i felt a presence behind me.
A figure bent over and gave me a kiss, my heart almost stopped beating or rather it was beating so fast? Darl gave me a scare.
Work.
Saturday,
I was home bound for the whole day even though i very much wanted to go out. Rina kept me company for a fair bit of time so that my Saturday swift past quickly.
Darl came picking me up at night.
Sunday,
Breakfast with Darl’s parents.
Back home, gamed a lil until Darl took over while i napped. I was expecting to do something together, afterall it’s our Sunday.
Anyhow, to cut the story short, i had a lonesome Sunday. I was throwing a lil tantrum but instantly, i was fine after killing zombies.
You see, my weekend flew past, just like that?! Some time alone gave me some reflections too, at least i wasn’t selfish enough to stop him from doing something he have not done for a long time, what’s more, with his best friend. Another reason might be my fear of insects, so there, this is my bad. All i needed was some attention when i deserved them, say, the only day we get to have it all to ourselves?
Monday,
1 ♥ 2 ♥ 3 ♥ 4 ♥ !
Not really a good start to the day. And with that, i decided to do some amendments to my level of nice-ness. Because some people tell me, i’m always too nice, if i’m nicer, it’s nothing new, not angelic.
So being nice is not okay, being not nice is even worst in my situation. Tell me, how do i moderate it? I cannot just be M.E.A.N, it doesn’t always work, especailly not here.
I’m known for being too giving that sometimes i forgot what is taking. History would say, i’m like a madwoman, medusa maybe. That’s when i totally lose myself, my verbal hurling was neither revised nor restrained. Knowing that it brought me nothing but unhappiness to both parties, i reflected on my actions for months.
Now, here i am. Your good girl, who wanna give you the world.
As for now, i will exercise some restrains, for how long, i don’t know. Also considering that i will be improving on the adhesiveness. Afterall, boy you know i do love you, you just have to take a look around, i’m already there.
Tuesday,
When the dawn has yet to come, heavy showers caused tossing and turning. Just as Darl left for work, i thought i would continue sleeping. Eventually, i got up at 6.30am to play L4D. 2 hours later i left for gym for a quick and intense stepping workout, have never stepped for 38minutes.
Back at work now.
Here are the 2 pussycats lying in the balcony area napping, just before i left the house just now.
On the way to work, i was so tempted to get a cuppa bubble tea, but then again, there’s this voice inside my head which somewhat resembles Darl, telling me if i do so, what i’ve worked out equals nothing.
How sad.
Last night, Darl was telling me about his clients, and how he was specializing in weight loss. Just this 2 words itself, i looked at myself, right down and look right back up at him.
“Don’t look at me, for you it’s weight gain. Because of Love.”
Ok, so my chances of being one of his successful stories of slimming down is lower. He feeds and pamper me with food. Of course, i still have the perservtion to carry on my workout, at least to maintain and nothing else more.
Contradictingly, he would not want me to be one of those biggest losers contestants either. So everything is under moderation, i just take longer than usual to build up a higher metabolism rate.
Right now, i’m craving for slice fish beehoon, which apparently is my first meal today. I’m off to get them now, till then!
Even all the signs above wanna give you all of my lov, yes all of my love.
Malim Nawar living.
Friday,
Breakfast at 8am and off to Ipoh at 9am.
I slept not a wink for the whole 7hours or so of drive, finally unloading the baggage at 4pm at Darl’s grandma’s place. It wasn’t what i expected in a good way, i expected worst. How rare is it to find air-conditioning in the village?
Before dinner, Darl brought me around the village for some strolling, villagers on scooters and cars looked at us like alien invasion.
Buffet dinner and karaoke party happening just outside the front porch. I, however, almost made it to the center of attraction because everyone was not expecting my arrival or rather appearance. In other words, i wasn’t an unpleasant surprise.
Turned in for the night in a tipsy state, beer loaded and some snuggling.
P.S. There’s 5 in a room, his mom and dad, grandma (on 2 beds) and 2 of us cuddling on the mattress. Call that cosy!
Saturday,
Rise and shine at 8 odd in the morning!
Living in the village, no one sleeps way past the afternoon. Mouth watering breakfast before visiting his mom’s relatives (since both sides were from the same town).
And so, i’ve seen buffaloes, ducks, turkeys, geese, chickens and houseflies, just no pigs.
Dinner for the second round of celebration in the restaurant at night, heartwarming moments and touching sights. That was when i realized the values of family loving, kinship, you name it. I swore that i wanna go back and tell my family that i love them.
They won’t see it, but still, i love you.
It was crazy partying with the paternal side, fancy seeing early 40s to 60s prancing around and dancing to the music. And while this was happening, their children would just sit and watch.
Shouldn’t it be the other way round? Happening parents, who wouldn’t envy?
Happy 80th Birthday Grandma!
Back to his grandma’s for few rounds of MJ before turning in for the night.
Sunday,
On the last day, we suddenly remembered bringing a a fly swat along to Perak, because Darl told me i would be having a lot of fun doing so. So of course i had to give it a try, and on the first try i killed 1! Awesome feeling i must say, it’s unlike those in arcade. A sense of achievement after everyone, i killed 3 in total before leaving.
For 2 days, i’ve been showering with cold water. So much so that goosebumps and nipples start erecting. Same old breakfast but i still gobbled up everything, leaving only the soup residue.
Some market shopping with his parents before setting off on the road trip. I don’t know why, but on the way back, i was in a drowsy state, trying to keep myself awake.
Made it home at 8 odd, JB’s finger licking good KFC! On a side note, the naughty pussy cats at home made the place smelt like shit, 3 days of shit not cleared, no wonder.
Monday,
Blues and laziness overwhelmed from the post holiday syndrome. Housework day with Darl.
Tuesday,
To sum it all for the day, after numerous of add ups til present, i had to end the day with this unspoken burden of being torn into 3 pieces. People always say, live for yourself, not for others. In this situation, i lived for myself and after, i’m called selfish.
I’ve forgone so many opportunities of pursuing my happiness without heeding certain advices, some to my advantage, some not. I dare say that many times, they’ve been one of the obstructions to the route i’ve chosen. However, i won’t totally push the blame, i’m the other hand clapping.
Yes, you might say, i’m stubborn, but who’s not? When i give, it’s always when they refuse to take. I still will not fail to emphasize, i learn through falls, and my life journey is not meant to be perfect. If everything is planned and told what to do by parents, i might as well let them live my life, controlled like a puppet.
It takes more than just one to make me realize my fault, let me fault, i’ll pick myself up and the next thing i know, i will be stronger than before.
Whether or not this is my happiness for life, i will still pursue it because life goes on, i live for today, tomorrow is not here yet. Yet again, fairytales are never true, it takes some unhappiness to build up that lifetime happiness.
Adding on to so much of bitterness i’ve endured, one of my wedge almost gave way. Just when i alighted the bus which i took by mistake, i had to drag myself to find Darl. All these took place one after another, what a coincidence!
One thing for sure that is to put some minds at ease, i’m not in US, which i gave up the opportunity of doing so, twice. I am, in Singapore at least.
Wednesday,
Not sure what time i went to sleep the previous night, but i pretty much remembered that i fell asleep after typing a 7 page text with them trickling down.
I foreseen that my eyes would be somewhat puffy and swollen. Which indeed was.
I stalled the preparation time, leaving home only at 12 when i’m suppose to be at work by then. The side effects, no doubt affected me, my mood.
Thursday,
After Darl left for work in the morning, i fell back to sleep with a weird dream of epidemics, it continued even after i woke up for a while from it.
Dragged myself to gym.
Yesterday, i wore a pair of wedge that didn’t give me much problem. Until today, i wore it for consecutive days, i started to feel blisters or corns growing under my sole. It all arrives from the pressure of 3 inches at least. Walking barefooted was so much more painful. So after lunch, Darl bought me a pair of gladiators alike footwear to ease my pain, which eventually did.
Back at work now.
I just learned from my friend, who’s about to be deployed on a mission to Afganistan, for what, it’s a military not to be told operation. Learning about this 6months ago was not much of a huge impact to be, the only difference is that, the last 4 that were sent came back in body bags.
Somewhat like an undercover i would say. This deployment, takes one who doesn’t care about the consequences, one who doesn’t have obligations back home, one who does fine with no contact with the world at all.
No phone calls, no internet, no letters.
My brave friend, in 30 days, not bidding goodbye, but i’ll just say, laters. After so much that went through, it was said to be a secret omen that was never meant to work out, otherwise, there won’t be this day. I say, it’s fate, perhaps destiny too.
You know what, i don’t feel like going home. And even if i do, i just miss my sister and brother now. That’s about it all because, some things that are said, it hurts so badly that it will linger for awhile more. Nonetheless, i still love my parents, it’ll just take some time to adapt.
Darl just text, something calls for a celebration, but i’m clueless yet excited.
But i can see the way, the way you look at me, and baby i don’t believe what you say.
And it’s the stars.
Wednesday,
Work and gym-ed.
Thursday,
Work.
Suddenly, i had the desire and inspiration to enter the kitchen for some actions. So i went online for ideas and after work, a trip to the super market for some fast grocery shopping. Eventually, i bought a bunch of grapes for $5.24 without even noticing the small prints which says $1.19 per 100gm.
After dinner, i had my sister to help me with some small chores like washing the utensils before we started. Searching high and low with beads of perspiration, i decided to do the chocolate first because i couldn’t find the mold for the jelly.
Was finally done with everything at 2am, turned in for the night. My first try of what i named them, Chocolate Crisps Skippy Mallow.
Friday,
Amazingly, i don’t know where my mom kept it, but she found the mold. Proceeded to do the jelly after i lunch-ed. Some of the steps were mixed up but i managed to rescue everything in time.
Work.
Saturday,
Gym-ed.
I had ample time on hand to do some shopping on my own while waiting for Darl to knock off, and also got myself a new haircut, dolly-yet-mushroomy bangs.
Back home to collect the chocolate and jelly i made for Darl.
Sunday,
Happy 44th birthday Singapore! It’s National Day, but not like i give a damn.
We actually decided to not waste our weekends anymore, but Darl was woken to a lazy Sunday with no motivation. Spent the day home playing MJ with his parents.
I walked into our room to get my wallet and out to living room, on the way, i felt something rubbery underneath my foot. A normal reaction would be rubbing it against the ground to get rid of what’s stuck underneath. I saw some black tiny lump, WIGGLING! Upon closer look, i noticed neon colours on it, our wild guppy! How the hell did it ended up there? Somehow, it must’ve jumped out of the water, which never happened before and i apparently stepped on it. So, can you imagine how ‘eeewww’ i felt? The next thing i could think of was to shout for Darl, and his dad stared at me. we put it in a separate bowl of water, hoping it’s still alive, which apparently it swam for awhile. Moments later, it’s dead. No, it’s not my fault, it committed suicide by jumping out of the tank.
Monday,
I was heavily submerged in the springs of the bed, nothing could even get me out. And so, i was self declaring a public holiday, fulfilling a 16hours of sleep until Darl came back in the evening.
Tuesday,
In the wee hours before the sun even rise, sent Darl’s colleague to airport before we head back to gym. Had an hour of so of nap in the car and went to work.
Wednesday,
Work and gym-ed.
Thursday,
Gym-ed.
Was running last minute errands for travel sizes toiletries before work. And i have a plan coming along for Darl’s birthday, hopefully with my fingers crossed, it’ll go smoothly. So tomorrow, we’ll be going on a 3 days 2 night road trip to Ipoh with Darl’s parents for his grandma’s birthday. I only have some worries, those huge houseflies that were mentioned and the humidly scorching heat. I will survive. Tonight, we’ll start packing and set off in the early morning before the sun rise.
And while you’re outside looking in, describing what you see, remember what you’re staring at is me.
It’s in the rain.
Saturday,
Late start of the day, which left us with not much time for time consuming activities. And so, we decided to start a early sleep early wake basis so the day would not go wasted. Darl fixed another desktop in the room so we could play games together, one game for example, Diablo II, which i took to a liking soon enough. Turned in early for the night for an early morning the next day.
Sunday,
My first attendance to a Malay wedding, Darl’s colleague at Pasir Ris. After which we headed for bishan park, blading. I was far more than just rusty, couldn’t even strike a balance on the wheels and not long after, it gave way and broke. My years of K2 blades that cost hundreds, what a waste. Rented a bicycle whereby we went rounds and a few halts here and there. Sweaty Sunday with the scorching heat.
Monday,
Work and gym-ed.
And i was updated by my sister, while being away from home for the longest time, my parents actually got lucky with 4 digits gambling, with a 3rd prize. Luck, comes and goes, taking away so much of constant bets, now returns you with a sum that’s not enough to cover the overall add up of bets placed. But well, should might as well be contented that this time round, a higher return. Then again, when you give a cent, greed asks for a dollar.
Darl had cravings for the night, besides his mom’s cooking, got another extra box of craving to go along with Son of The Mask before turning in.
Oh, i have to mention, our cat that got missing about a month ago, came back on its own! As usual, we would get home and Mimi would be sitting by the door greeting us with a meow and a play dead pose, he wasn’t there. Just as i ran for the bathroom first to answer my urgent nature’s call, i stepped into the living room..
Darl: “Guess who’s back?”
Me: ” Oh my dog! How come you didn’t tell me?!”
Darl: “I just saw her too, i was surprised.”
And so, our lost cat found her way back home yet again. On a side note, on the way up the stairs, we saw a HUGE moth flapping around, i had to run past it. They say, especially huge moths, it signifies the return of a spirit of someone beloved and that they miss the family. How coincident is this? However, Meimei was acting weird, and Mimi was very hostile towards her. Darl questioned me, the connection between the moth and the return of the cat, how eerie. Was is our hallucination, was that really the Meimei we knew? But what’s for sure, i recognized her meow and that innocent looking pair of eyes. I’ll snap a photo of her soon enough, for now, here’s our boy Mimi, we call him puss in bag..
Tuesday,
Work.
This morning, while playing with the cats, Meimei actually poked one of her claw on my thigh. Damn was that prick painful, she was just circling me and then came onto my lap. I hate claws!
I am actually starting to watch my diet but not on a strict fad yet, just starting slow. Because i’m not seeing eye to eye with my arms and everywhere else that’s adding on the pounds. And because i am overweight, i have to do something about it. What’s more, i’m a personal trainer’s girl, what will people think of that? So, keeping a healthy lifestyle, i already made the first move, cutting down on my big bowl consumption of dinner and increasing my rate of activities.
Pardon me when i do slack, but i’ll pick up soon enough where i left it at. Yada yada yada you must be thinking, and so am i, but everything needs a lil beginning and a push, here it goes. A little goes a long way, starts out from motivation, then habit.
